Changes in the last few years have made OkCupid a bit more like Tinder (they're owned by the same company), focusing more on swiping and eliminating the ability to message a user without matching with them first. Online daters can still send a message -- it just won't show up in the recipient's inbox unless you match. Because who doesn't enjoy sending a thoughtful message to someone who might never see it? However, OkCupid has pointed out that these changes did help lower the number of offensive messages and fake profiles people received, which might be a worthwhile trade-off. Unfortunately, in my experience, OkCupid has become a bit of a dating ghost town. -- RF